I just woke up from a dream and in it, I saw the first Justice League movie. Now, this is a weird JL movie because the team was comprised by Superman, Hawkeye, Rocket Raccoon, Wonder Woman and Chuy Bravo from Chelsea Lately. The first half of the movie, they just sat around in their fortress talking and arguing how they would go about their mission and I was so engrossed by how existentialist it was, and how Zack Snyder managed to get some damn good shots of the Earth from outer space.
The cinema was almost empty except for me and my friends, so I decided to take a picture of the gorgeous cinematography. I mean, damn, you have come a long way since fucking up Sucker Punch, guy. I went back to my seat and spent the rest of the movie finding the right VSCO filter for it and worrying whether I’m going to get caught because I pirated bits of the film.
After the movie, I decided to buy the junior novelization of the film because I missed the second half. Turns out, they went deeper into outer space to talk to the calcified spider titan and bargained the fate of humanity with a lifetime supply of Whatchamacallit bars. In the end, they did save the world because of their bad-ass bargaining skills.
I was waiting for my driver (I don’t even have a driver!) and went to the unisex (Am I in a ShondaLand show?) bathroom where the janitor was being flirted upon by these seriously hot twenty-something women who are all dressed up like post-rehab Ke$ha. I remember how the bathroom seemed really dirty, but it mostly smelled like cement instead of piss and human excrement.
And then I woke up.
I am still convinced that this is really how that Justice League movie will play out because DC is bound to fuck up their cinematic universe.